


Streamlined Sickness [F+M+Sonic Riders]

by The_EXxtra



Category: Sonic Riders - Fandom, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Literature, Sci-Fi, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-10-17 21:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17567897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_EXxtra/pseuds/The_EXxtra





	Streamlined Sickness [F+M+Sonic Riders]

Jet the Hawk: [vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/so…](https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/sonicfanon/images/1/1e/Jet.png/revision/latest?cb=20140510124857)

 

Having the computer’s voice annoy the green hawk, Jet snapped whilst leaning forward. 

“What do you mean it’s too cold out to ride?!” He squaked, shaking a fist at the monitor while having an equally angry swallow pipe up in support. 

“Dumb robot! We won’t have a chance to win if don’t practice now!” Wave barked, having a white bird hold his hands forward while wincing at the angry avians in front as he backed away.

The computer sighed using a midi, rolling it’s pixelated eyes at the two remaining birds screaming at it’s analytics. Searching through it’s database, it found some more info to explain the situation one last time, losing hope for these irritated birds.

“It’s 25 degrees fahrenheit and the winds are blistering. It’s certain you two or any living creature would catch a cold outdoors.” The computer rephrased, biting it’s metaphorical lip at their determination. 

Scoffing at the claim, the two avians took their boards and ordered a short trip to a training slope. They both cursed under their breaths and as the swallow exited the building, she yelled “I’m too smart for this crap. It’s not like I’m dumb!” Wave said going beak first into sharp, freezing winds.

With the wealth of Mr. Robotnik, these birds were able to get immediate transportation among other things. Having to endure the dangerous temps for only a few moments, they clenched their fists and gritted their teeth, still putting on a show despite not having to impress anyone special while making their way inside the personal transit. 

Standing inside, Jet and Wave stood at opposite sides of the self-driving vehicle, making no eye-contact at all. Both to their own devices, whether it be phones or the outdoor view. The two birds were just waiting to socialize when they got to point B finally.

A sniffle came out of the green hawk, raising a smirk from the purple swallow’s beak. Wave chuckled, leaning her head towards Jet. Opening her loud mouth, she remarked.

“What’s wrong, gotta jet?” Wave said, pun intended.

Raising an eyebrow, Jet looked towards Wave. He took a finger to his beak and sweeped it down one side of it, up the middle, and down the other, gently scraping his static nostrils. 

The hawk replied to Wave by saying “No, but I think your wavelengths are starting to fall.” Jet observed, seeing the swallow shiver a bit on her side of the vehicle.

The vehicle stopped, distracting the birds from the minor things they commented about. Jet snorted at Wave, waving a hand at her while instructing “Let’s go.” The brightly colored swallow rolled her eyes as she stepped out of the transit, board in hand.

With the vehicle gone, the two were left to travel around a large, figure-eight track. The sturdy metal-work cased with a thin layer of ice. The hawk and swallow tried to walk, but stuck their wings out in desperation in fear of falling from the slippery surface. They turned on their high-tech boards and sat on top of the hovering gears.

Stretching a leg onto the board while fastening his goggles, Jet looked towards the finish line. He said “How is anyone gonna expect us to win if it’s freezing cold out here?” He slammed a green fist onto his board, wobbling it slightly.

Wave chuckled, grinning at the ground before facing Jet. Her face scrunched, blasting at the hawk. “Reeelax! Just a short test with these gears and I’ll make something that’ll wipe those fools.” 

Feeling the wind whip at his feathered face, his nares moistened as the blistering weather tickled his beak much faster now that he had no little shield to the elements. His eyes narrowed, causing a cock of his head with the green hawk biting his beak at this annoying itch. The tingle was truly testing the bird’s patience. 

The irritated hawk took the side of his thumb and flicked it across the top and sides of his beak repeatedly, nudging it as well to at least startle the danged itch away. While doing so, he followed up with his own comment.

“Pluihh-pleeease, we duihh...don’t need those geihh…” Jet hitched pathetically, his voice becoming more nasally by the second.

Wave raised an eyebrow at the disrespectful boss, gliding her gear towards his. She ignored the oppressive tickle in Jet’s nostrils while giving him a piece of her mind.

“You do-...don’t need me?! Excuse me, but I’m the one who made you who you are today. Heck, I could take over this entire dump on my own. I don’t need your…” She continued to ramble her nonsense.

Meanwhile, Jet’s beak was at the peak of exploding. The cold, wispful air made its way to every sensitive point in his yellow beak. The prideful hawk resorted to clamping both hands onto his sore beak, stroking it up and down. 

It wasn’t long before Wave was on top of him, yelling his head off as the sneeze built larger and larger. He could barely see and had enough. He took a hand away from his beak and shoved the swallow’s face away from him. He then concentrated on having a forefinger and thumb circle his two, larger nostrils. The rushed massage was merely postponing what was to come, but was just enough to get him ready to ride.

Before starting the ride, Wave recoiled from Jet’s minor shove. She felt the hawk’s freezing hands swipe her unusually straight swallow beak. Her yellow pecker felt half-numb from just the brief moment. The purple bird shook her head, poking her beak as she felt a tingle build up in it. She sniffled loudly and pushed that feeling aside, yelling at Jet.

“Come on, Jerk! Let’s ride!” Wave snapped, standing up on her board. She looked behind the sniffling hawk, teasing “Try to keep up.” She stuck a tongue out and started her way down the loop.

Pinching his beak, Jet gritted his teeth and challenged the cocky swallow. He stood back up and snorted what he could of the tickle aside, not letting his ego down for a second.

“Oh yeah, don’t forget who’s the fastest here!” Jet claimed, speeding up to Wave at a vicious speed.

On his way towards Wave, he found his opposition sending buckets of snow in his face from the intense speeds. His beak shook and sniffled wetly, the poor pecker trying to push all the snow out that was making its way inside of itself. Jet took a gloved hand and wiped his beak clean, cutting a corner speed up past wave and to save himself from a sneeze disaster.

Wave growled, getting snow in her face as the green blur whipped past her view with no regard. The bird began getting a taste of her own medicine, feeling mountains of snow go up her nostrils and into her sinuses. She sniffed and sniffled, the inside of her beak quickly melting the snow and turning into water. 

“Guihhh!” Wave hitched suddenly, the swallow’s beak going into overdrive with it being filled with more and more water. Her desire to deny the itch and win conflicted with her safety. Her pace sped up as she pinched her beak and shook her head.

“Nuihhh! No no no! Thihh-that’s cheating, Jeihhhh…” Wave hitched again, slowing down as her beak slowly took control of her body.

Jet was having a blast, laughing to himself as he left that swallow in the dust. Hearing her hitch, however, triggered his beak to remember how ticklish it was. With his sinuses’ amnesia gone, the green hawk started to lose balance on his tricky board.

Squeezing his beak, the hawk had his board sent sideways and into a wall. He slipped off and landed chin-first on the ground. A large thud was heard, having Jet shake his head and focus on his pesky beak again.

Crossing his eyes, he gasped and slammed a palm on the top of his beak. His fingers slid back and forth his nostril on one side of his pecker, quickly going in and out of the nostril briefly enough to scratch it while having his thumb plant itself on the other nostril. The singular appendage scrapped at a corner of the nare, waning in and out just the same.

“Come on! Duihh...don’t do it!” Jet panicked, rubbing is nostrils faster and faster.

With the swallow trailing right behind, Wave had her hands stretched forward with sneeze packed and ready to blow. 

 

Leaning her head far back, she hitched “Luihhh-look ouachiahhh!” She exploded, flipping off the board and striking her back clumsy onto the back of Jet.

“Yihh-yikes, I duih-don’t know how much I cuihh…” Wave commented, crossing her eyes the same to see both her’s and Jet’s reddened beaks be a large concern. 

Swinging an arm to her face, she clamped a hand to her parted beak to combat the awful itch. Before taking action, a quick observation from Wave could clearly see how screwed they were already. She had nothing else to lose but her own nares, and dedicated some precious seconds to just that.

Now with her problem asserted, she took the time to analyze her hand and beak. She started with the subject, the swallow beak. In her world, at least, the swallow beak was much similar to Jet’s and had two cavernous nostrils that were separated by the long bridge of the beak. She felt quite limited in how to fight this itch.

“Gehihhh! Hehhh!” She hitched louder, rushing the poor lady. She swung her other arm to assist her and hit Jet while doing so.

“Whihhh-watch ihhh!” Jet hitched, still fighting his beak with max effort.

Wave rolled her eyes and continued looking at her tools. She saw two, gloved hands. They were large and admittedly pudgy. Feeling her face with them, they felt plush and a bit soft, perfect for massaging a stiff beak. She just had to think of a technique to use with these white sausages she possessed.

“Whih-wave! Geih-get off!” Jet whined, wiggling his fingers and thumb around his large nostrils and giving the swallow an idea to think about.

Methodically moving her hand and fingers around, she poked and shifted her appendages up and about her broad pecker. The dark caverns protruding the look of her sleek, smooth beak were tested and trifled with. She picked the nares, scratched the nostrils, wiggled a couple fingers around each nostril. She did every possible jitter and motion.

“Gyihhhhh!” Wave screamed, failing to notice just how irritated her beak really became. She sniffled sharply, snorted, and hitched at her fatal error. The poor swallow was far too busy thinking of how to rub her beak but forgot about the what. This whole time she’s attacked her nose with plentiful amounts of snow, having more of it melt her sinuses to no end.

At the same time, Jet was struggling with the same dilemma. His beak soaked with water filling his nostrils to the point of voiding out of existence. 

With both of their beaks topped with uninvited liquids, the hawk and swallow reared their beaks against each other, tips touching. They inadvertently synced their hitched and smushed their beak harder and harder against each other. Both Jet and Wave put a measly finger to their beaks, ending up touch the other’s beak as well, providing poor cover for the impending sneezes.

Jet was the first to have his beak give up on him, and rightfully so. “Hehppehh...nuihh-not nuihh...now! Huhhhhh! CHiewwww! GAHSHHIIEEEWWWWWW! HEPCHHIHHHKKKK!” Jet blasted multiple times, blasting himself as well as Wave.

Right after Jet started his final build up, Wave began her’s as well. “Ehhh...ihihh-it’s cuihhh...coming...pleihhh-please no, I beihhh-beg of yhihh! YEAHCIHEWWWWYYYY! HUHHHHCHIIIIIIIIEW!” She exploded, leaning forward with incredible force.

Having Wave launch high up from the sneeze, her body fell back down to the track and Jet himself, bonking them both on the head. The passed out unconscious, left in the freezing weather.

Hours pass, and we find our poor avians being helped by the brute Storm.

Happily, the large albatross said “I got worried after a while you two wouldn’t be so well, so I came up and made you some clam soup!” Storm grinned, handing both of them a bowl.

Wincing in disgust, both Jet and Wave yelled at the same time. “Clam soup?! You’ve got to be kidding me.” The sniffled, tickling their sore beaks a bit.

“Hihhh...chieww!” Jet sneezed onto his soup.

“Guihchiiiiiiiiiew!” Wave sneezed the same.

Storm laughed nervously and prepared himself for playing nurse for the day, taking the sneeze-ridden soups from the birds...  



End file.
